


I Never Grew Up (Help Me Hold on to You)

by idyllicwebz



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Catra being sappy and in love all heck, Drunk Adora (She-Ra), Extreme Pining, F/F, Fluff, Light Angst, Post canon, eventual wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:34:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28330224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idyllicwebz/pseuds/idyllicwebz
Summary: It’s silent for a beat or two before the blonde breaks it again questioningly. “Is that what you woke me up to ask?”“Yes,” the other girl says simply. “I had a dream about us as kids again, and I was just remembering that that was when I knew.”Her brow raises. “Knew what?”
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 108





	I Never Grew Up (Help Me Hold on to You)

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is my first little Catradora ficlet, and it's a very special gift for my best friend Lauren! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this lil blurb of them :)

The first time Catra thinks such a thing she’s half asleep.

“Adora?” The cover is halfway fallen off her torso, and her eyes squint in the darkness at the ceiling. The lump beside her groans gently at her voice despite its whispering tone, and Catra watches the way her girlfriend burrows deeper into the covers.

“Adora.”

“Hmph.”

Catra moves closer, leg brushing hers with her shift, and she finds herself running a finger along the lines of her face. Her skin is soft and smooth in most places, but the evident marks of war sometimes catch on the pads of her fingertips. At the touch, the corner of Adora’s mouth twitches, and the telltale beginnings of a faint smile appear sleepily. Slowly, Catra watches as her eyes begin to peak open; peering up at her in the same way she always does--and she wonders if she _ always will? _

“Do you remember that time when I broke my arm as kids?” She chooses to ask instead because-- _ let’s not wander into that territory just yet, _ and apparently her mind seems to be open to all the memories she’d rather forget. 

But this is safe. 

_ She _ is safe. 

Safe with  _ her _ .

Adora frowns curiously for a moment, as if her mind is a reaching hand searching for a lost book deep in the back crevices of her head; dusted with much more forgotten memories. Her eyes light up after another minute then. “Uh yeah,” she swallows dryly, recalling the lost memoir. “I remember you had fallen off your bunk at night. We...we were playing and supposed to be asleep like everyone else, but you thought it was funny when you swished your tail from above in my face,” Adora says this slowly with a faint grin, before it vanishes once more. “But I guess you had gone too far over the ledge and fell.  _ God _ I remember I was so scared.”

“You always were always so scared of getting in trouble.”

“Your arm  _ broke _ , Catra.”

Catra only snickers, moving closer and Adora welcomes the added warmth. It’s silent for a beat or two before the blonde breaks it again questioningly. “Is that what you woke me up to ask?”

“Yes,” the other girl says simply. “I had a dream about us as kids again, and I was just remembering that that was when I knew.”

Her brow raises. “Knew what?”

Catra avoids the question with another. “Do you remember what you kept telling me?”

Adora wants to press the previous topic, but she sees something in the way Catra’s eyes practically beg her to recollect this sparse event, and she finds her mind screwing for the answer desperately for her. It sits in the back of her mind like a lone forgotten scripture, but she wipes the cobwebs of time away from it anyways, and she smiles recalling her panicked assurance. “I told you that everything would be okay,” she admits, and she doesn’t know why she suddenly finds herself flushed. “I told you that it was alright, and that I would help and that Shadoweaver didn’t need to know because I could fix it.”

Catra’s not smiling, but her eyes are. “You tried to patch me up with bandages you stole from the infirmary, and stickers you stole from Kyle. I probably should have known from that moment you’d always be the self sacrificing type.”

“Where are you going with this?” Adora counters back, and she can see the way her girlfriend's eyes twinkle in the dark.

“You always tried to fix things, even when things seemed irreparable.” 

_ Even me. _

The blonde tucks a fallen strand behind Catra’s ear, and smiles gently. 

She’s so beautiful when she smiles. All the light and good things in the world that Catra tried to disbelieve in for so long, and her heart trembles while the fire in her stomach sets a blaze with that same old familiar feeling once again. The golden hair that’s splayed against her pillows shifts and is tugged gently from Adora’s scalp when Catra suddenly finds her hands in it.

Life has been too harsh and cruel upon their souls, but they think if they can hang from each other's lips for even just a second it might have all been worth it.

Catra thinks of it then; dazed and blissed. 

_ I want you for everything. I won’t let go of you anymore. Don’t let go of me,  _ **_please_ ** _. _

_ We came back to each other. _

_ Say you’ll stay forever. _

Catra falls asleep with her heart in her throat, and when she awakes she finds her eyes squinting at the ceiling once more.

Adora never did get her answer out of her.

-

The second time these feelings arise they’re at one of the many balls Glimmer holds--well, the end of one at the very least.

The drink Bow had handed her earlier now rests warmly at the bottom of her stomach, and Catra finds herself relaxed and cozy despite the rather uncomfortable chair she sits in.

_ Etherian wine is not for the weak _ , she thinks to herself, and as if her eyes can read her own thoughts, they turn to Adora. The blonde is beyond any saving by this point. It’s barely just past midnight Catra assumes, if only by the still sheer mass of their friends here, and her nose scrunches in laughter at her girlfriend's antics.

Adora is not weak, not by any means. But she  _ is _ in the sense of alcoholic tolerance.

“-and then Boooow had to drag me outta there! How was I posed to know I swords weren’t loud’. ” She squeals, all undignified in the way that would make the legends of She-ra tremble. There's a definite slur to her words, and her cheeks are flushed a sweet pink color, but Catra finds her smile only widening at it.

“It was a  _ school!” _ Bow defends.

“ _ So? _ ” Adora hiccups. “We used to have laser guns in our school, right Catra? You remember, hmm? You got my leg one time.”

All eyes turn to her now, but her’s only remain on the blonde at hand. “Yeah and you got my shoulder. Still have the scar to prove it.”

“I said sorry.”

“I know, and you cried after.”

“I was  _ really _ sorry.”

Glimmer hides her laughter in her hand, but she’s just as far gone as Adora is, and when Catra meets Bow’s eyes his are filled with humor at the pair.

“Did you guys always try to fight each other?” It’s Perfuma who says this now, and she seems to be able to at least handle her drinks if her un-slurred speech is anything to go by. She can only tell she’s even actually intoxicated by the glazed look in her eyes when the woman speaks.

“Just almost always,” Catra answers cooly, sneaking another sip at her drink.

Adora scoots closer at her response, and suddenly her shoulder weighs down at the addition of her girlfriend cuddling into her neck. “Not anymore though,” she says adamantly; her lips pulling into a taut line that the girl suddenly finds she desperately wants to kiss away.

_ Yuck, alcohol makes me such a sap. _

But she can’t help the way her heart seems to rattle in her chest at the doe eyed, but sincere look Adora gazes up at her with, and it takes everything inside Catra to not just pull her lips to hers instantly. Her thoughts seemingly echoing her name like a lullaby that only she knows the words to. But...that’s such a  _ sappy thing _ once again, so instead she finds herself softly agreeing in a much more gentle manner than usual. 

The conversation picks up again after that; focusing back on the fact that her partner wanted to show off She-ra’s sword to a bunch of five year olds, but Catra finds her mind occupied on something else once again.

Drunk Adora is handsy and clingy, and those overwhelming thoughts from weeks before are all but consumed by her actions. Surrendering in the feeling of her wandering hands, and cheeky smiles she seems to only save for her in private, and need for assurance is balmed only by simple kisses in the dark.

_ I love you _ she wants to say, but her tongue feels heavy in her mouth and her eyes blink dryly in protest.

“ _ Stay _ ,” she warbles out instead. The same old plea, still a desperate thing from her mouth years later.

It’s hours past since the ball, near early morning, but sleep has just begun for them and the sun’s breaking light makes her look so,  _ so, beautiful. _

Adora responds in tandem. “Always,” she hushes.

Catra’s hands find her face, sweeping her golden locks over her shoulder. “For forever?” She asks and Adora’s eyes glaze over.

“Of course.”

The sweat gathers on her back from earlier, but she’s frankly too tired to move; not when the love of her life chooses to lay her head over her chest and promptly fall asleep.

It’s fine she supposes. 

A small price to pay for all the many listless things she’s done in her life.

She doesn’t deserve this. 

_ Any _ of this, and Catra knows this is true just like how she knows the sun will always rise, but Adora is still with her despite it all. All the tears, and anger, and countless curses at one another, all an eventual falling stack of cards that slotted into this mess they choose to call love after all this time. Her chest aches at those bitter memories from years ago still. 

She’s not sure if the pain will ever completely go away, but she knows this:

Adora loves her.

She loves her just as much as she always has too, and for right now that is enough.

It is  _ more _ than enough, because it’s more than she ever thought she’d have anyways.

In the end these thoughts are what put her to sleep. There will be a time and place for these feelings eventually, but tonight is not that night, and instead sleep calls to the both of them like an old siren's song.

She’s waited years for this, Catra thinks she can wait a little while longer.

-

The third and final time it happens it starts off with a secret.

Her girlfriend’s smile is a blinding thing to behold and her eyes are sparkling with unbridled joy, but most importantly she’s got a secret she wants to tell but just won’t.

“Come on, Adora! You can’t just brag that you know something I don’t, and then not expect me to pester you about it.”

“I am sworn to secrecy,” she declares with a smirk, before reaching to pluck a flower from the ground. They’re in the royal garden’s, a spot they always find themselves at to pass time, and Catra huffs when Adora offers her the blossom. She takes the flower after a second because when has Catra ever refused her anything? She rolls her eyes despite the warmth at the gesture. “This doesn’t at all makeup for you not telling me,” she responds petulantly.

“ _ I know _ ,” she sings and Catra growls. “You’re seriously not gonna tell me anything?”

Adora opens her mouth to respond but another voice beats her to it, and her face seemingly pales.

“Tell her what?” Glimmer stands at the arches of the garden with a furrowed brow, and Catra finds herself smirking at the way her girlfriend seems to panic at the sight of the teleporting queen.

_ So something involving sparkles, huh? _

The blonde’s eyes beg her to shut up, but she’s always been a trouble maker if anything else.

“I don’t know, she won’t tell me,” she says. “I was going to try to make her, but you showed up,” Catra purrs, absolutely loving the way Adora flushes, either from embarrassment or anger she doesn’t quite care. 

Glimmer still scrunches her nose in disgust at the insinuation despite knowing Catra’s antics, and sticks a tongue out at her. “You know what? I don’t wanna know now, and I think Adora shouldn’t tell you too,” she teases and Catra laughs at this; noticing the relief quickly replaced with a collected look on her partner's features instead.

“Yeah she’s not going to know anything now,” Adora laughs nervously, before shooting her a glare when Glimmer turns around at the call of her name. The pink haired girl looks back at the pair sympathetically, “Sorry the guards are calling me, they’ve been following me all day it seems,” she groans. “I haven’t had this many random meetings since after my coronation, and I hate it. I haven’t even seen Bow all day!”

“I’m sure he’ll show,” Adora quickly inputs. “Probably just off helping someone! You know how Bow is--always helping others before himself...uh yup!”

Glimmer’s eyes narrow. “You’re acting strange.”

Adora chokes. “Am  _ not _ .”

Blue eyes plead for help at Catra’s, and she gives in with a small sigh. When did she become so soft? She chooses to ignore that answer for the sake of her well being.

“I think I hear them calling for you again sparkles, you should probably go see what they want before you get dethroned.”

At this Glimmer mocks her. “Ha ha ha, Catra. Very funny.”

“I think so, yes.”

She wants to say something else, most likely another jab, but this time a guard really does call her and she leaves with a long groan of irritation. Once they’re sure she’s out of ear shot Adora rears her head towards her in annoyance. “You are horrible!”

“Not new information sweetheart,” she purrs lowly. “Now you  _ have _ to tell me since I saved your butt back there. You’d think after all this time you’d finally learn how to lie, but I get taught new things everyday here it seems.” Adora blushes at this, and crosses her arms while she glares up at her, and Catra hates the way her stomach seems to quiver at the sight of her like that.

_ Must everything she do be so endearing? _

“It’s a surprise for Glimmer,” Adora gives in slightly.

“Yeah I could have gathered that much. What else?”

“It’s...it’s  _ big _ . Like _ huge _ Catra.”

Catra throws herself down dramatically on the bench besides them. “Stop speaking in riddles ‘dora just tell me. I’m not going to be able to cover for you later when Glimmer inevitably corners me for information.”

It’s quiet for a beat, then two, and then Adora sits next to her. Her happiness now a hushed whisper, but no less joyful.

“Bow is going to ask Glimmer to marry him.”

The change in emotion is instant, and it feels like a soccer punch to the gut. Not because she’s jealous--well, at least not in the way most people might think.

_ “Oh.” _

Adora smiles and if it seems a little shaky Catra doesn’t notice. “Yeah,  _ oh _ .”

The water from the pond near them is the only thing heard for the moment after.

“Do you think she’ll say yes?”

“They’re good for each other,” Adora says instead. “I think she’d be crazy not to.”

At this Catra hums, and the crease on her forehead deepens. The girl next to her notices this with a frown, and her hand is suddenly being clasped within her own. “What are you thinking about in there?” Adora’s finger trails teasingly at her temple, and maybe it’s just the fact she’s sitting so close to her and it’s intoxicating, or just that she’s lost control of her mouth at this point, but the question leaves her lips before Catra can stop herself anyways. 

“Would  _ you _ say yes?” Her heart hammers in her throat. “You know--figuratively speaking? Would you say yes to something like that?” She has to look away from those blue eyes now, because the woman is quite frankly unsure what she might do if she doesn’t.

“I-I...yes, I think I would.”

The fire in Catra’s chest burns hot at this.

“Okay.”

Words fail her, so instead she squeezes the palm in hers tighter; eyes firmly trained at the blades of grass surrounding her feet.

“Okay,” Adora whispers back, and a part of her sings at this.

When Glimmer and Bow make the announcement over dinner they share a look that could only be described as simply: love.

_ Soon _ , Catra thinks watching the excitement in Adora’s eyes light up at the sight of their friend’s ringed hand. 

_ Very soon, indeed, _

-

(+1)

Adora is just as beautiful as she knew she’d be.

She’s an absolute vision in white, and Catra could cry.

She  _ is _ she realizes.

They’ve shared many tears together; many bad, but  _ these _ \--these are the happiest she’s ever let fall, and it seems Adora is just as affected by this understanding.

It’s frankly all blur if she’s being quite honest with herself. King Micah spins an old etherian tale about fates, and the stars having aligned up just for this very moment being possible, but her eyes are only on the woman in front of her. She’s only broken out of her trance when Bow elbows her side noncommittally after a moment, and her face flushes bright uncharacteristically so. 

She should be embarrassed, and she is in a sense, but Catra finds herself not caring.

“I never dreamed of this,” Catra begins quietly. “What we have has always been there I like to think...even when I couldn’t see it. It was there. It was alive and bright at the times I needed it most,” her hands shake gently. “You remind me of the ocean sometimes, in the way that the high tides swept you into me, and continue to do.”

Adora really is crying now, but her smile is a tender thing.

“You and I always made promises as kids, and many of them I broke, but not this one,” Catra murmurs. “Never this one.” She faintly hears the uncontained sniffles from Bow, and the unmistakable weeping of Scorpia in the crowd, but she continues on. “I made many mistakes in my life, but loving you has never been one of those.”

The woman in front of her almost crumbles at that, and her eyes glaze over in the most emotional way it takes everything in Catra to finish getting the rest of her words out.

“I will always be there to protect you. To look out for you. To support you when I don’t think I can even support myself at times... I  _ promise _ ,” she slides the band over Adora’s knuckle at those last words, an echo of a now amended promise.

“I'm not doing this because I like you,” Catra teases thickly and it earns a laugh out of Adora; her thumb caresses the ring then. “I’m doing this because I love you.”

When Adora starts her vows she’s muddled her tears to small sniffles, and she chuckles wiping the wetness away. “How am I supposed to top that?”

The crowd laughs. “You’ll find a way,” Catra says instead. “You always do.”

The blonde lets the silence return before starting again. Her voice is strong and fragile all at once.

“As kids I remember everything was a competition, always this big game of tug of war and keeping score, but now I know none of that ever mattered. You keep me warm,” Adora says. “You said I remind you of an ocean, and in a way I believe you if only because my waves will always meet your shore.”

Catra’s throat tightens. She loves her. Loves her so much she aches all over once more.

“I had let you go years ago, and so many things happened that I regret, but if I had to endure it all again for it to lead to this? I would. This love came back to me, and you showed up just in time. I had to let it all go free, but you have-- _ will _ always leave a permanent mark on me.”

Glimmer hands Adora the ring next.

“I promised you I would take you home, but you brought me back to mine.”

The band is cool against Catra’s skin, and she smiles down at it.

They kiss before Micah even finishes his commencement and the pair can hear the whistles and hollars around them.

“I love you,” Adora starts but Catra finishes, and they laugh despite the eyes on them.

“Did you think we’d ever end up here?”

“No,” Catra says, but she’s still grinning. “Which is exactly why I plan to never mess this up.” 

Adora presses another kiss to her mouth at that. “Who would’ve known, huh? All this time it was always going to end like this.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

Their wedding is a miraculous affair, filled with laughter and kisses. A great big crack of light in the darkness that was once their lives. Nothing was ever easy with them, and they know that nothing truly ever will but they’ve made it far enough

“We made it.”

Adora’s cheeks are flushed red and her hair curtains around them like a halo, but she glows anyways.

“Yeah,” she whispers. “We did.”

_ Long story short they survived. _

  
  



End file.
